Why Your Brain is a Drama Queen (and How to Calm It Down)

Let’s be real: life feels like a dumpster fire right now. Inflation is out of control, home prices are a joke, and don’t even get me started on the political climate. People are stressed, anxious, and overthinking everything—from whether they can afford groceries to whether they’ll ever retire. And let’s not forget the constant noise on social media, where everyone seems to hate everyone else, especially the police (which, full disclosure, hits close to home for me as a cop’s wife). 

It’s no wonder your brain is in full drama queen mode. One minute it’s whispering, “You’re doing great, sweetie!”* and the next it’s screaming, *“EVERYONE HATES YOU, AND YOU’RE PROBABLY FORGETTING TO PAY YOUR TAXES!”* Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. 

As a 29-year-old therapist, mom of one, and wife to a police officer, I get it. Life is chaotic, and sometimes your brain just loves to add fuel to the fire. Anxiety, overthinking, and imposter syndrome walk into a bar… and we’re here to kick them out. Because let’s be real, your brain is supposed to be your ally, not your frenemy. So, let’s talk about why your brain loves to stir the pot and how to finally calm it the heck down—backed by the latest research, because I don’t just make this stuff up (though I do add the jokes). 

Why Your Brain is a Drama Queen: 

1. It’s Stuck in Survival Mode: 

  Your brain is wired to look for danger—even when the only “danger” is an awkward text you sent three years ago. This is thanks to the **amygdala**, the part of your brain that’s basically the overprotective parent of your nervous system. It’s always on high alert, scanning for threats (real or imagined) and triggering the fight-or-flight response. Recent studies show that chronic stress can keep the amygdala in overdrive, making it harder to calm down (Shin & Liberzon, 2020). 

  *Personal anecdote*: My husband, the cop, deals with real danger every day. Meanwhile, my brain thinks a typo in an email is a life-or-death situation. Same amygdala, different drama. 

2. It Loves to Overthink: 

  Your brain is like that friend who analyzes *everything*. “What did they mean by ‘K’? Was it passive-aggressive? Am I passive-aggressive?!” This is called **rumination**, and it’s basically your brain’s way of trying to solve problems by replaying them on a loop. Spoiler: It doesn’t work. Research from 2021 found that rumination is linked to increased anxiety and depression, especially when combined with poor sleep (Guastella & Moulds, 2021). 

  *Personal anecdote*: Last week, I spent 20 minutes overanalyzing whether I should text my mom “Thanks!” or “Thank you!” after she babysat. Spoiler: She didn’t care. 

3. It’s a Perfectionist: 

Your brain holds you to impossible standards and then berates you for not meeting them. Thanks, brain. This is often linked to **imposter syndrome**, where you feel like a fraud despite evidence of your competence. A 2020 study found that imposter syndrome is especially common among high achievers and can lead to burnout if not addressed (Bravata et al., 2020). 

  *Personal anecdote*: I once convinced myself I wasn’t a “real therapist” because I Googled how to fold a fitted sheet during a session break. Spoiler: I still can’t fold the sheet. 

   How to Calm It Down: 

1. Name the Drama: 

  When your brain starts spiraling, call it out. “Ah, there’s my drama queen brain again, making a mountain out of a molehill.” This technique, known as **cognitive defusion**, helps you distance yourself from negative thoughts and see them for what they are: just thoughts, not facts. A 2019 study found that cognitive defusion techniques can significantly reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation (Levin et al., 2019). 

  Personal tip: I literally talk to my brain like it’s a toddler. “Oh, sweetie, we’re not doing this today.” 

2. Ground Yourself: 

  Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique—find 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. It’s like a reset button for your brain. This practice, rooted in **mindfulness**, helps bring you back to the present moment and reduces anxiety. A 2022 meta-analysis confirmed that mindfulness-based interventions are effective for reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression (Goldberg et al., 2022). 

  *Personal tip*: I do this while hiding in the bathroom from my toddler. It’s my version of a spa day. 

3.   Talk Back: 

  Challenge those negative thoughts. “Oh, I’m a failure? Cool story, brain. Let’s look at the evidence.” This is part of **cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)**, which helps you identify and reframe unhelpful thoughts. A 2021 study found that CBT is particularly effective for managing anxiety and imposter syndrome, especially when combined with self-compassion practices (Kazantzis et al., 2021). 

  *Personal tip*: I keep a list of my wins on my phone. It’s like a highlight reel for when my brain tries to gaslight me. 

4. Practice Self-Compassion: 

  Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend. Spoiler: You wouldn’t tell your friend they’re a failure because they burned dinner. Research from 2020 shows that self-compassion reduces anxiety, improves emotional resilience, and even boosts motivation (Neff & Germer, 2020). 

  *Personal tip*: I give myself permission to be a “good enough” mom, wife, and therapist. Some days, that means cereal for dinner and calling it a win. 

 The Bottom Line: 

Your brain might be a drama queen, but you’re the one holding the remote. With a little practice, you can learn to quiet the chaos and take back control. And hey, if all else fails, remember: you’re not alone. We’re all out here trying to calm our inner drama queens—one deep breath at a time. 

P.S. If you’re nodding along like, “Yep, that’s me,” share this with your group chat. They’ll probably relate too. And if they don’t, they’re lying. 😊✨ 

P.P.S. Want more tips on taming your drama queen brain? Drop a comment or DM me your biggest brain drama. Let’s tackle it together! 🐧🍩✨ 

References: 

- Bravata, D. M., et al. (2020). Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of imposter syndrome. *Journal of General Internal Medicine*. 

- Goldberg, S. B., et al. (2022). Mindfulness-based interventions for anxiety and depression: A meta-analysis. *Journal of Clinical Psychology*. 

- Guastella, A. J., & Moulds, M. L. (2021). Rumination and sleep quality in anxiety and depression. *Journal of Affective Disorders*. 

- Kazantzis, N., et al. (2021). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for imposter syndrome. *Cognitive Therapy and Research*. 

- Levin, M. E., et al. (2019). Cognitive defusion for anxiety and emotional regulation. *Behavior Therapy*. 

- Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2020). Self-compassion and psychological well-being. *Journal of Clinical Psychology*. 

- Shin, L. M., & Liberzon, I. (2020). The amygdala in stress and anxiety. *Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences*.